Let’s be honest, your coffee order is less about caffeine and more about vibes. Are you the kind of girl who rolls up with an iced matcha in hand and a slick bun? Or are you ordering a venti dirty chai with oat milk and three extra shots like it’s a personality trait?

Here’s what your go-to says about you (and yes, we’re all a little guilty).

1. Iced Matcha
You discovered matcha back when everyone thought it tasted like lawn clippings, and now you act like it’s a wellness flex. You wear oversized white shirts, delicate gold jewelry, and probably have a Pinterest board called “Clean Girl Summer.” Your nails are always neutral, and your lock screen is probably a quote that says “less is more.” You say things like “I’m just really into alignment right now” and pretend you don’t care about Instagram likes—but you totally noticed that last post didn’t hit. You own at least one Dyson product. Possibly two.

2. Extra Shot Dirty Chai
You’re on the verge of a breakdown, but you look amazing doing it.
You run on chaos, caffeine, and manifestations that start with “I don’t chase, I attract.”
Your screen time is 9 hours/day, and it’s mostly WhatsApp voice notes.
You think “soft girl era” is cute in theory, but you’ve got things to do. And no, you’re not switching to decaf.

3. Black Coffee, No Sugar
You are not here to play. You’ve got deals to close, emails to send, and people to ignore.
You probably work in finance, PR, or tech and pretend to love waking up at 5am.
Your wardrobe is 90% black, and your idea of fun is sending passive aggressive emails. You once scared someone by typing “noted.” in a group chat - and you liked it.
You call yourself “low-maintenance,” but somehow you have opinions on everything.
You don’t believe in oat milk. You believe in discipline.

4. Pistachio Latte
You like your coffee how you like your lifestyle: unnecessarily extra and lightly dusted in crushed nuts.
You’re probably wearing a matching pastel set and documenting this moment for your private story.
You’re not here to just drink coffee- you’re here to be perceived. You say “just going with the flow,” but you planned this whole day three days ago with a moodboard.
Honestly, we love your delusion. It’s powerful.
And yes, your wallet matches your water bottle. Iconic.

5. Decaf Anything
Who hurt you? Or wait - who didn’t?
You are emotionally evolved, mentally sound, and somehow immune to the dopamine rollercoaster the rest of us live on.
You meditate for real, not just on Insight Timer once a month. You drink 2L of water a day, and you read books with zero pictures.
Your group chat sends you chaotic memes and you just “❤️ react” and move on like an adult.
You know peace. You are peace. We fear you
You journal, you stretch, you’re emotionally stable. Who even are you??
Honestly, we’re suspicious. But also… we want to be you.

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